Monday, 10th January, 2005

Outside the Tranniesphere

Woke up this morning at 4am Couldn't get back to sleep Feel like poo...

...but I have rather been wallowing in a state of self-pity recently, so let's concentrate on other things.

It would appear that us lot in Lancaster (and presumably Morecambe) have had a lucky escape with the weather these past few days. True, it's been raining buckets, and the wind has been phenomenally strong, but at least we haven't had it as bad as what Carlisle have, which is just about 50 miles up the road from us.

The other night though, I was driving along St George's Quay, and I noticed that the Lune was right up to the top of its banks Even though I kinda live that end of town, and you'd think I'd be in a flood area, I'm not — there's big things between me and the river

The wind is a different matter though. I seem to have got off lightly — the only thing that's happened here is that all the stuff in my back yard (all the rubbish from when the kitchen was put in) has been blown all over the place (I have no idea how the milkman got through it this morning BTW), but on my way back from Kath's this morning, there were quite a few slates lying smashed on the road.

I think some people are going to have leaky roofs

We tend to moan a lot about the weather up here in the North West — but I reckon we should think ourselves lucky really. Rain all year round is much preferable to what the rest of the country/world have to go through.

...

Rather disappointingly, my friend Emma M isn't going to be coming over to visit from Cincy this week. There was speculation that she might be in the country (and I had such a good time last year when she visited) and that there might be the possibility of a girlie night out in Manchester.

But no, sigh

I could do with another night out soon, really, I could I'm having a little bit of cabin-fever just at the moment. Apart from Sarah West coming to visit the other evening, my only contact with the Tranniesphere (remind me to trademark that word ) has been through emails and chatrooms and stuff.

Fun as it is to chat online with people, nothing beats that feeling of being out and about at large. I guess it's as much to do with being seen as it is to do with seeing people. So many times in forums or chatrooms, the discussion turns to recent nights out, or nights coming up, and if you haven't been then you can feel a little left out.

NRT writes:

A friend (your ex-next-door neighbour, as it happens) was walking in the Lake District yesterday — I hope he got back okay. I declined his invitation to go too, having seen the BBC and Met Office forecasts on Saturday, though as it happened, Lancaster didn't even receive enough rain to wash the dust off my windows (until dusk, anyway).

A Trannie Tick List

One of the things I was talking to Sarah about the other night, was trainspotting. Apparently, one of the longest threads on Roses is about rains, and it occured to me that in some ways, being a transvestite is a lot like being a trainspotter (at least, for M2F, I dunno what the F2M deal is) — there seems to be an unwritten list of things that we all do, and we tick them off as we go along.

#1 Wearing our mother's/sister's clothes

I think this is possibly the most common thing we all have. We all have to start somewhere, and for most of us, this means routing around wardrobes when no-one is at home. (a note to my sister: I never wore your clothes, they were all too small for me, what with you being 8 years younger)

#2 Wearing Lingerie Under Our Normal Clothes

I guess this is where the 'going out' thing starts. There's a hint of danger wrapped up in the cosy feeling of wearing panties and stockings under your trousers — the possibility that you might get caught. I guess there's also the secretive, naughty feeling of doing something 'bad' that no-one else knows about. Maybe

#3 Getting a Makeover

I know, for me certainly, that this was a significant milestone along my little journey. I mean, you've been trying to make yourself look like a girl for years, never quite getting it right, then one day someone spends an hour or so with you, and shows you what you can look like. Sometimes I get into little quarrels with people about whether or not Transformation is a good place to start or not. FOr me it was — but I paid waaaay too much for something I could have got a lot cheaper at Pauline's, and a lot better come to think of it. But I didn't know about Pauline (or any of the other dressing services) at the time. Transformation was my way in

#4 Taking the perfect picture

I dunno if it's possible or not. Each time I do a shoot, I think "*yay!* That's the one!" But then weeks later I look back and think, "Nah " So scrub that one off the list...

#4.2 Taking hundreds of pictures

All hail the digital camera!

#5 Making a Web Site

Why on earth do we do this? I mean, we're absolutely paranoid about people seeing us, yet we stick a photograph (or 50) in the most public place on earth. Odd isn't it? I guess, there's an element of exhibitionism about it. We've put so much effort into making ourselves up, that we want everyone to see it, and congratulate us. I know I do that at least. It's like the other week — I was only made up for a few hours, but I didn't want to have wasted the effort. When I first started all this, before I'd actually been out and met other people like me, putting pictures online was almost a substitute 'going-out' — it was a way of sharing the experience of dressing with a larger group of people. I suppose, there's also the thing about being trusted more when you have some web-based reference. Maybe But that might not be such a good reason

#6 Going to an Event

From various responses I read to people's first time out at a do (mine included — SCC 2002), it seems to be quite a momentus occasion. I think for a lot of us, that first time in the Village, or the first time at Transmission can often be the first time anyone's seen us dressed in the flesh

#7 Going Out in Public

Ah Long-standing readers will know my feelings about this — Tuesday, 13th July, 2004, it's in the archives.

Maybe I'm not explaining this very well, but it appears there's some kind of set-routine for being a trannie. Which I think is daft. You know, sometimes you see people say things like "I went out for the first time today!" — and someone replies with "Great! Now you have to go shopping dressed!"

It's like we all goad each other into going further and further along the same path, when actually I think it would be really interesting to see what would happen if we all evolved under our own steam.

But maybe I'm talking crap Lord knows it wouldn't be the first time...

Kylie writes:

Yes going for a make over for the first time is a definite step forward. And having some pics taken and posting on the net is another. But to my shame ( I think ) nobody would ever recognise me from the mine which I have posted on a site or two.

nicki may