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Hello smile

I'm Siobhan Curran/Kisa Naumova, and this is my weblog. I tend to write about stuff like crossdressing, Macs, code, cats, wine and Second Life, but in general it's just an ongoing conversation about all sorts of stuff. If you'd like to know a little bit more about what this all is, I recommend starting on this page which has a little bit of info on who I am, and what I'm trying to do — or you could dive into my five years worth of archives if you like.

Otherwise, feel free to close this box and explore...

Tuesday, 18th January, 2005

Shutter Happy

Photographs occupy a significant amount of focus in the transvestite community — we're always taking them, whether it's as a record of a night out, the outcomes of a day at a dressing service, or just in the privacy of our own bedrooms, you can be sure that a camera isn't that far away. What with the advent of digital cameras, things have just got more prolific.

It's odd, this relationship we have with our photographs. For some of us, they're a goal in themselves — the quest for the "perfect picture" pretty much driving the whole dressing experience. For others, they're a way of sharing with the rest of the community the outcome of ages spent in front of the mirror, armed with a blusher brush.

It has to be said, that even for a transvestite, I do take a lot of photographs. The last time I got myself made-up and plonked myself in front of the camera, I ended up taking about a Gig's worth of shots.

Prompted by a question on my FAQ, I figured I'd explain a little about the process I go through every time I take photos...

One of the things I dream of, is the chance to be sat in a photographer's studio, with them directing me on what to do. It's so hard, you see, to know what way to stand, pose, pout in front of a camera. Obviously, when Kath isn't here, I don't have anyone to tell me what looks good — so I use the AV out of the camera, plugged into a television, to compensate for that.

It works pretty well :smile: You can see what you look like before you hit the shutter, and you can take the time to tilt you head (or whatever you think is necessary) to hide your Adam's Apple :wink: The only drawback I found, was that the timer on the camera (at least on my little Ixus anyway) was not quite long enough to really pose properly. And, after I'd taken a photo, I had to get up, go over to the camera, and hit the shutter again, then spend the next ten seconds trying to re-compose myself.

Now that I've got the SLR (and its glorious remote control) that problem has gone. I just lie down and keep hitting the remote — but the problem with the SLR is that you can't use the AV-out as a viewfinder :sad:

It's not that surprising really — the light doesn't hit the CCD until the little mirror inside the camera gets flipped up when you hit the shutter-release. That's how SLRs work. So what I find myself doing is continually checking the television after the shot's been taken.

This is why I end up taking loads — most of them are little tweaks to the way I'm sitting based on the feedback I get from the display.

The downside of taking so many, is that I have to transfer them all onto my Mac to go through and pick out the best ones. Up until about a month ago, I used a little CF card reader — which transferred them at a rapid rate (compared to the camera's transfer rate anyway) — but, surprise surprise, I managed to spill a glass of wine on it one night, and even though the card that was in it came away unscathed, the card reader now won't mount the disks on my desktop :sad:

(It was only a cheap little thing — I'll get a new one sometime)

Even so, despite using this technique, it amazes me sometimes just how different the photographs look on screen to what I was expecting them to look. I guess it's partly due to the differing light sources in my bedroom — when I'm looking in the mirror, the light is from behind, whereas when I'm looking into the camera, the light is from the front. Ideally, I'd move the television to the other side of the room, but it's a bit big and bulky, and all the stuff connected to it would come to.

Truth is, it's very hard to take a good self-portrait, I guess :unsure:

...

Something that's always on my mind though, is whether or not it's 'ethical' for me to do the amount of Photoshopping that I do on the images I like :unsure: I'm pretty sure that no-one's of the misconception that any of the photographs I've taken recently are what's come straight out of the camera. Photoshopping seems to be considered a bit of a 'sin' in some trannie circles — and I suppose I agree that taking things too far (like sticking your head on someone else's body, or vice versa) is a bit of a no-no. But all I do is play around with the lighting, blur things a little, and maybe touch out the odd spot or ladder in my stockings. That's not so bad is it?

For the curious, there's a tutorial I wrote on what I do with Photoshop to my images, early last year.

...

Hmm, just had a thought. D'ya know what would be fun? How's about I do a little time-line of what my photographs have looked like over the past three years...

This is pretty much the first photo of me, taken in January 2002. There is one before this, but it was taken at Transformation on Euston Road in London, and I'm not very happy with it :unsure:
This one is taken pretty soon after. There's always been something odd about it to me. I don't know if it's something to do with the way my cheeks are puffed out, or what, but it looks nothing like me — or at least that's what I think :tongue:
For ages, this was my favourite picture :smile: There was something about the hair that really worked (although from the reflection you could see that I had rats' tails at the back)
This is sometime in the summer of 2002. When I was a kid, I was very conscious that I had unnaturally large lips — I trained myself to pull them in when I smiled (I still do). But I thought that maybe they'd be an advantage if I was trying to look like a girl. The one thing that's always annoyed me about this picture is the shape of my hair — it sticks out too much on the left. Actually, I've worked out that the sticky-out bit is actually part of the plant, but nonetheless :angry:
Hee hee hee. I loved this picture when I took it. I was trying to look all mischievous :smile: One thing I've found is that sometimes I need to emphasise my eyes a lot more in photographs — the camera seems to wash them out a bit. But I think I overdid it a bit here :wink:
This is one of the last few images of me with my original wig. I've tried a few wigs in my time — the first one (apart from the cheapy blonde monstrosity that I bought when I was a teenager, and I don't ever talk about :unsure:) was a rather shabby red thing (OK, ginger) that I wasted £100 in a market in London. God, it was awful. This one I loved. It was too expensive (natch) and I didn't really look after it properly, but I still have it, and I do wear it from time to time. BTW, I look like a bloke in that shot don't I?
I've never been very sure of little black cropped wigs. I've always thought that you run the risk of looking like Henry the Third if you're not careful. They're very harsh, and they can really highten all the male aspects of your face. That said, Pauline did a wonderful job on this one — feathering it to soften it up a bit. In terms of the photo itself, this was the start of my Photoshopping — I messed up the settings on my camera and they all came out too red, so originally, I was trying to compensate for that. This one was taken in December 2003 (or maybe January 2004)
The fisrt time I went out with no wig, I was pretty nervous. One of the great things about wigs is that they help to disguise you — but I wanted to try out my slightly longer hair. Kath and I went to a local nightclub, and it went down pretty well :smile:
For some reason, this is the photo that has got the most comments over the past year. Maybe that's to do with the hair, more likely it's because I'm wearing very little in the rest of the picture :wink:
Not a major development, just my hair getting longer. It was (and still is) at a bit of a half-way point, too long to look butch as a guy, too short to tie back into a ponytail. It's getting there though
By November last year, my hair was long enough to have a lot of fun with. Scrunching it up and making it all fluffy is my particular favourite. In this picture, I'm having a stab (perhaps unsuccessfully :unsure:) at looking a bit gothic. (ie. I'm wearing black lipstick) Dunno about this look — the one advantage is that I can go to Goth nights and not look out of place.

And this is what I look like at the moment. The colour that I had put in my hair really works I think — it's been in it for about three months, but apparently looks just as vivid as when it was first done :smile: This picture is very Photoshopped — I've really lightened it up, bleaching out all the little imperfections that acne as a teenager can leave. Ideally, I want my hair to be twice this long — but I guess that'll take another year...

This is probably akin to teaching grandma to suck eggs .. have you calibrated your monitor to photoshop?? ditto your printer ( if you print any ). Makes a huge difference.

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Kylie

Of course I have Kylie. I've worked in Reprographics for the past 6 years. You think in all that time it hasn't occured to me to calibrate my monitor?

The monitor, camera, and the printer (yes, I do print them out. I've been meaning to sell framed prints :wink:) all have their own ICC profiles

Ack...

Have you ever written something, and then afterwards thought "OMG that's shite"?

Read through those first two paragraphs at the top of the page again. They're two of the worst paragraphs I've ever written :sad:

They sound like the sort of thing you'd read in a local tourism magazine, or hear on a local news show on TV. I can't believe I've written "whether it's ... blah blah blah ... or ... blah blah blah" — that's such lazy writing :angry: It's almost as bad as if I'd written "From (x) to (y), from (a) to (b)" (another staple of the local news team)

Please accept my apologies. I promise it won't happen again.

You're hot.

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k14

Why thankyou.

Such eloquence... :rolleyes:

OMG! A trannie that can use punctuation!

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KJ

Thought you might like some feedback on your shots, well maybe not?

I'll go ahead anyway... :smile:

Shots 1-4, starting from the top, ditch them, not natural.

Shots 5-7, likethese particular the one you're not sure of, no.6.

The rest, by far the best. You're so lucky! Your own hairstyle is so cool — and just think, nobody can grab and run off with it!

I reckon you can now go out where what you want and bu**er everyone else. Think you'd look great in jeans, t-shirt, trainers even, with a little natural make-up. Thinking about it you're really beginning to irritate me! :smile: