Tuesday, 8th February, 2005

Lose the Circle and Tilt the Tiarra

9.20am. Lying in bed. Keeping as short a distance between me and the toilet as possible (tummy dodgy). Rubbing "hospital strength" pain relief lotion that I bought in the States into my hand, because for some reason (as yet a mystery) it's really really sore.

(The worst bit about having a sore hand, incidently, is that it's really hard to rub it, like you would with, say, an arm. I don't know if it's just me, but my hands are really bony, and rubbing it feels a bit icky )

If this were a Livejournal, I would no doubt continue in this vein — recanting my current woes and explaining in minute detail just why I didn't write anything yesterday ... but it's not, and I'm not a teenager, so I won't

Instead, I thought I'd pick up where I left of with the whole trannie-rant business, and talk a little bit about...

I've mentioned my friend Natalie a few times in passing ('passing' LOL ). One thing I've found with meeting quite so many trannies over the past few years is that, well, even when you have a pretty major part of your life in common with people, it can still be hard to strike up true friendships.

I don't know if this is familiar to anyone, but there's an assumption sometimes, that just because two of us share this prelediction to jump into a frock the first chance we get, then we're obviously friends for life — but a lot of the time it doesn't quite work out that way.

I find it in other areas too — it's not just crossdressing. I'll meet someone, we'll both declare our MacJoy and start comparing iBooks, but after a while you kinda think "hey, um, so, yeah." and wish to God you had something else in common.

Anyway, not the case with Natalie. She's been a great friend over these past few years — someone I find myself able to talk to for hours on end, and someone I love very much.

I guess, one of the reasons is that we have much more than just the desire to swish in common. We both do similar jobs, seem to think similarly about certain things — and we have the same birthday.

Ah, birthdays Not that I would want to drop any hints or anything...

Last February, I gave her a call to see if she and her partner fancied joining me and Kath for a night out in the Village, as a bit of a birthday bash for me.

"Fancy a night out with me and Kath on the 19th to celebrate my birthday?"

"The 19th is your birthday?! Same here!"

(See what I did? I managed to get a quick plug in that the 19th of February is my birthday ...)

Anyway. Thus began our little in-joke that since it was such a special day, the 19th of February should become International Transvestite Day. Such an in-joke in fact, that only the two of us knew. And it would have stayed that way, were it not for a slightly drunk Siobhan one night getting a bit keyboard/email happy and sending a message to the UK Angels mailing list.

Hi — couple (3 actually) of questions:

(1) Is there such a thing as International Transvestite Day? (2) Can I propose that if there isn't, then we start one on the 19th of February — no ulterior motive, just thought it would give everyone a chance to prepare... (3) Does anyone else have the 19th of February as their birthday?

And thus began a series of discussions, emails, and stuff that's led to Sparkle

OK, so maybe everyone else decided that the 25th of June would be a better date — fair enough. But anyway

The thing is, you see, that I think a day like that is really important. I've been ranting quite a bit about the secretive nature of our community — exemplified in that quintessential activity of passing — and I think that doing something as public as Sparkle really gives us the chance to broaden our horizons.

I mean, so OK, some of us get ourselves glammed up and tack ourselves onto the Pride marches, but I just kinda think we need to be doing things for ourselves a bit. I think we need to grab a bit of publicity and make a bit of a name for ourselves — rather than letting everyone else make our name for us.

And I mean that on two levels: yes, we need to stop piggy-backing off the LGB community, but also we need to blatantly challenge the perception that we're a group of people about whom it's OK to have a laugh at. Just because we're transvestites, that doesn't mean we shouldn't be taken seriously.

I feel that the reason why we're a target for ridicule, and attack, is because we're seen as a joke. Rather than targeting our campaigning towards the right to go out dressed, we should be aiming it at the causes of why the world sees us as a bunch of pathetic weridos.

It's OK to laugh at trannies, because they're pathetic and secretive. And since it's OK to laugh at them, it's a fairly small logical leap to suggest that it's OK to beat them up.

Does that make any sense at all?

What I guess I'm trying to say (and I think I've been trying to say this in various ways over the past few months) is that things aren't going to get any better for our community until we start standing up for ourselves and quit being secretive and furtive and insular. Not until we stop trying to hide ourselves away in <pun>closets</pun> can we expect to be taken seriously.

And it's only by branching out and engaging with the rest of the world that we can do that.

Which is why something like Sparkle is so important. On the 25th of June, we get to kick up a little bit of a fuss. We get to make a start to redress the balance against us, and, even if it is just for one day, get to challenge the view that we're there to be made fun of. Rather than just spending every waking minute moaning about our situations in closed internet chatrooms and forums, we can actually get our touches out and say "Hey, I'm not a joke. I'm beautiful"

...

So, this afternoon, instead of feeling sorry for myself and stuff, I'm going to spend a bit of time knocking out some banners and logos for the event — like I've been promising Kim and Joanna I'd do for ages

Heh heh

My favourite Slashdot quote after the Livejournal outage, incidently, was this one:

"Honestly! Now we have to wait a day or so to find out what MelissaMinx492 ate for breakfast today!"

Which prompted:

"Don't worry, it was waffles. But her dad used the last of the syrup. Man, he never can think of her needs, can he? I mean really, what's his problem?"

...

Geena, not for a while I guess — I'm not finding I've got the time to go through the rigmoroles of Dermablend and everything. I'm kinda waiting until there's a bit more light in the day, or there's a special occasion.

Or maybe a trip to see Pauline, sometime soon

Perhaps what I'm saying is if it weren't so bloody risky I might just come out to more people.

This is the killer isn't it? Coming out is risky, but it's going to be risky until more of us are 'out'.

It would be wrong of me to advocate mass confessionals across the country — but I think what's needed is some kind of acknowledgment of our prescence as a group of people (a diverse group of people ) who are sick and tired of being mocked.

Which is why Sparkle is going to be important, I think. It gives us a chance to set the adgenda for a change — rather than battling against already-set adgendas. Know what I mean?

Personally, I think there's only one thing stoping me from being 'out at large' — my parents. But I've talked about that before.

But do let me know when you inform your college department about frocking it!

Oh, they all know already But, ya'know, it's not like there isn't a precedent for transvestites in the Art world or anything is there? I'm thinking pottery myself...