Monday, 21st February, 2005

There's No Place Like Home

Ah Thankyou so much for the birthday greeting watchamajiggers over the weekend. Kath and I have been Far Away doing fab things — of which I've taken a gazillion photographs. Rather than spend the little free time I have to myself this evening downloading them a cataloging them into some kind of Northern Ireland Tourist Board free=promotion, I think I'm just going to crack open a bottle of wine, colapse in the bath, and swish around like a princess who's been deprived of her clothes for four days...

...and then I'll write up what we did.

Not that I expect anyone to be too excited about the whole shebang — I'd just like to record what we've been up to, in it's non-transvestite gloriousness.

Dammit. Where did I put that wedding dress...?

Um, I think "In" is how many votes you've had, and "Out" is how many people have then clicked on your link ... twenty one?! Poo I was 3rd at one point a couple of months ago

Returning to the little diatribe I was about to launch into earlier (just as soon as I had my fill of swishing that is...)...

S'funny how your perceptions of your roots change over time isn't it? Two years ago, when I spent a wek in Belfast cat-sitting for my parents, I think I came back with the view that the city had changed, but I hadn't — which was maybe why I hadn't had such a particularly good time.

The thing is though, I've kinda realised that I have changed. Which I guess, is obvious with hindsight.

The thing is though, seeing as both me and the city have changed — it's hard to find a common link between us.

Yes, I am a Belfast girl, but I'm not entirely sure what that means anymore.

...

A week or so ago, on BBC 4, there was a Restoration programme about Northern Ireland, and on it, a woman in Holywood was bemoaning the demolition of some early Georgian houses to make way for new developments. Now, at the time, what struck me was two things: (1) Was it really a good idea to have a woman who, despite claiming to have been born in Belfast, had as extreemly posh English accent fronting a campaign for preservation in Northern Ireland? (Thoughts quickly rush towards the Plantation...), and (2) Isn't Northern Ireland the last place that we really need to be clinging to the past in?

I mean, at some point I'll try and explain exactly how I feel about the political situation over there, but really, wouldn't it be much better if we all started looking to the future rather than the past?

But the thing is, there I was, with all this "Ack, get back to your own country" bile rising up in me, when my parents announced that it was quite possible that they were going to sell their house to a developer and move. And it was equally likely that the developer was going to demolish the house, and build a lot of ticky-tacky boxes in its place. (Our house has a fair bit of land attached to it)

Ah. So suddenly, because this actually affects my past, sudden;y I'm passionate against it. And I'm deeply aware of the inherent hipocracy.

It's OK to demolish someone else's history, but come within five yards of mine and I'll hit you with my big pointy stick.

True story.

Hmm. Not sure ow I feel about all that now. On the one hand, I can see how bringing new people and new money into a region is good for all — but at the same time, this is the house I grew up in dammit. It's the house I first wore a dress in. It's the house where I used to panic when I heard the key in the latch and frantically scramble to take all the clothes I was wearing off and dart back to my bedroom to change in.

It's the house I first ever masturbated in for fuck's sake.

Funy isn't it? How the minute something affects you directly you can have a complete u-turn of policy?

...

So, Belfast has changed — there were so many places that we went past that I found myself saying "that used to be a ..." But like I said, I've changed to.

I guess we just don't have anything in common any more

Nope Funnily enough, I think my mother would find it hard to argue against the concept of a guy with long hair and a beard...