Hello 
I'm Siobhan Curran/Kisa Naumova, and this is my weblog. I tend to write about stuff like crossdressing, Macs, code, cats, wine and Second Life, but in general it's just an ongoing conversation about all sorts of stuff. If you'd like to know a little bit more about what this all is, I recommend starting on this page which has a little bit of info on who I am, and what I'm trying to do — or you could dive into my five years worth of archives if you like.
Otherwise, feel free to close this box and explore...
Life Can Be Drab Sometimes
Um, listen — I really must apologise for my distinct downturn in (a) quantity and (b) quality of writing these past few days (weeks?). There is (for want of a better excuse) some stuff going on that's getting in the way of my usual chirpy/ranty self — and though I'd love to go all LiveJournal on yous, I really think I shouldn't.
The post from the other day for example, was really just the start of an extended series of thoughts on what my work is doing right now (a constant source of worry for me to be honest), and maybe it has a place here, maybe it doesn't. I dunno.
...
Anyway, regardless of that, I thought I'd just mention that I'm really looking forward to getting home tonight. I'm slightly concerned about the amount of snow that's falling outside — it's not buckets of the stuff, but it's just enough to make me slightly cautious about the idea of driving over the Pennines. But as well as that (and ignoring the rather dull thudding that's going on in my head this morning brought on by just that little bit too much red wine last night) I'm really missing dresses
Funny, isn't it?
This is one of those things that convinces me that being a transvestite has something to do with your psychological make-up, rather than just being something we do for fun. I'm trying to work out in my head this morning, just what it is that gives me so much pleasure from dressing - and equally, how it makes me feel when I'm in a position for an extended period of time where I can't dress.
I dunno, it's hard to explain.
I mean, I know we all do this for different reasons, and I figure equally
that we all get different things out of it. But right now, I've been
wearing boy-clothes for almost a full week (apart from a brief moment of
wedding-dress gloriousness on Monday evening 
) and, well, it's getting
me down.
OK, so perhaps there are other things getting me down today (a lack of
interest in my Final Cut Pro workshop is a pretty big contender 
),
but I can't help but consistently picture the sheer relief I'm going to
have the moment I slip on a dress this evening.
I guess it's a little like the utter joy of the first cigarette after a
long-haul flight. That moment of ecstasy as the nicotine floods your body
after having been cooped up in a stuffy cabin for 10 hours, deprived of
all the things you find comfortable. (Yeah, I know, smoking = transvestism
- not my greatest analogy... )
I must try and think this through some time. Rambling on about it in a vague way doesn't make the most exciting blog post in the world...
...
Actually, just as a momentary distraction, one thing just jumped into my head. What's equally interesting (from my point of view anyway) is that, yes, I find myself longing for women's clothing when dressed as a man, but one of the things I do when I do manage to go the whole hog and make myself up, is wear men's clothing.
I'll explain more about that at some point too
Cathii Scott
for me dressing is all about leaving the shell i'm in and creating an alternate persona..........i'm y not happy with the outcome of my life, wasted what small opportunity's i may have had basically, all because of dressing....i have a beautiful wife who would let me dress,helped,in fact when we first got married so dressing was all consuming it was all that mattered...at the present time i can no longer dress(2 grown up sons,i wish they would join the army or something(selfish again)) and have only memory's and desires.as i say dressing allways removed any cares or worries for me.IN FACT THE BEST STRESS RELIEF EVER
janice
Bear with me, I'll come back to this...
...
Ladies and Gentlemen...
...for your entertaining pleasure, and not, definately not, because your hostess, Siobhan Curran, hasn't got off her backside yet and sorted through the mega-slideshow that is "Siobhan and Kath's Adventures in Belfastland", we hereby present:
A Selection of Lists, Each Being of Five Things in Total
Starting with:
The Top Five Search Engine Queries That Brought People Here
(1) crossdressing (No surprises so far) (2) build your own spitfire (Whoo hoo! Fantastic!
)
(3) transvestites
(4) transvestism (Hmm, they should perhaps be grouped together)
(5) fanny (
)
Close runners up include: "the yorkshire stripper", "really bad transvestites pictures" (
), "siobhan's fish and chips", "i live by alcohol", and perhaps my favourite, "i hate the daily mail i hate the daily mail"
The Top Five Cats In THe World
(1) George, Biscuit and Tish (who count as one cat really) (2) Murphy (natch) (3) Mr Fuzz (4) Minky and Juniper (see above) (5) My new friend RegFive things That I Will Attempt To Achieve Tomorrow
(1) Some paid work (2) Some Invoicing (3) Some tidying up (Dear God this house is a mess)
(4) Writing a cheerful blog entry
(5) Cooking sausages and mash for Kath
(I may, or may not, achieve more things than these five — but I thought it best not to aim my sights too high)
Five Things I Wish I Had in My House Right Now, But Don't
(1) Marlboro Reds (2) Wine (3) Peat and sticks (4) Light Bulbs (the long-life energy-efficient kind) (5) A real, honest-to-goodness, absolutely authentic, RothkoDon't go away, I'm sure I can think of more of these things
Five things to say about the above lists: (1) Writing lists is for boys (oops) (2) The order of the top five cats in the world (3) The appearance of the word 'attempt' in the second list (4) In regard to the third list — ahem? (5) Back seat list writing is just mean — Siobhan — this is MY comment not yours!
Katie
I once had a really nice e-mail from someone who found my site by Googling for "Tony Parsons Is A Twat"...
Writing lists is for boys? Are you kidding me? It's the second most teenage girl thing to do ever!
Doing compilation CDs is for boys
Bexly Bex
For an amusing exploration of lists (and their use by men) read High Fidelity by Nick Hornby — it is very funny
Katie
That is such a boy's book!
Pfft! Have you ever read it? And did you notice how I resisted the obvious question posed by Bexly's comment?
Katie
Actually, yes — a long time before we started going out together 
Part of the lack-of-joy of having all your music as mp3s by-the-way, is being able to categorise them at the click of a mouse — rather than spending weeks arranging them in chronological order of purchase
It is an addiction. Annie Lenoxx said it best when she sang "after receiving we still can't get enough of the stuff" OK OK I know she was talking 'bout Love, but it is the same thing (sort of). AND I totally disagree with you, some of your most entertaining entries are the ones where you don't think, but just write.
As an ex-smoker the analogy fits. I still crave the nicotine as much as I crave the dressing and have just as successfully supressed the desire for smoking as I have the desire to dress in the past. 5 years without a ciggie, almost as long as I suppressed the need to dress when I was in my 20's AND ALMOST AS PAINFUL.