Tuesday, 15th March, 2005

Pause ... Reflect ... Kudos ... Blogroll

Well done Francis, a well deserved Bloggie to you indeed. Commiserations to Mike, Toddy and Genia, I share your pain.

A special congratulations though, to Mike for not completely fluffing his way through the interview with BBC Radio Nottingham ... I thought you did very well dear — not at all burbly. A slight moment of dead air after the "So Mike, what is blogging?" question, and you didn't mention me (unforgivable), but I guess the early morning is an acceptable excuse

I think, over the course of the next few weeks/months, I'm going to get myself some tools and materials, and actually make a tin-pot tiarra, so that next year we can fight over something worthwhile

Foundation, Foundation, Foundation

One of the biggest problems I have, when trying to look like a woman, is my facial hair. I'm blessed (?) with rather thick black stubble that seems to grow at an unstoppable rate, which is great when I want to look all butch and macho, but a nightmare when I'm trying to be pretty.

I say "blessed", because apparently my beard is perfect for laser treatment — the dark hair is just right for being zapped — but as I've repeatedly said, I have no intention of going down that route.

So, what to do?

Even if I make three passes with a Gilette Mach 3 ("Darling, was that a sonic boom?" "No honey, that was me screaming as I cut myself") I'm still left with a dark shadow in rather unpleasant patches across my face.

Incidently, I remember as a young boy girl, desperately wishing my facial hair would develop. I'm thirty three now, and still it hasn't all joined up — so I have one or two bizarre bald patches when I let it grow. I was very conscious of looking weedy when I was young, I wawnted to look like all those guys in the old 70s school photographs who had beards.

(Incidently, is it just me or do sixth form pupils look a lot younger these days..?)

Anyway, I was introduced to the marvels of Dermablend by the rather dubious route of Transformation's "Miracle" Beard Cover. I had visions of the stuff before I got it as being something that would actually cover a full beard — some sort of thick gloopy stuff that would congeal on your face and form a second 'skin' (I wasn't far wrong about the "gloopy"). I paid £30 for a tub (I know!) and, fair dues, it hasn't run out yet.

The thing is though, that I just can't seem to get a colour that matches my own skin. Even when I bought some proper Dermablend, I can't quite get it mixed properly, and I end up with a rather yellowy discolouring on my jaw.

I think you can probably see what I mean in some earlier photographs of me (the one where I'm just wearing underwear and thigh-high boots springs to mind) — there's a grim two-tone effect going on on my face.

So, again, what to do?

Well, for quite some time now, other trannies have been going on and on about the wonder that is MAC Cosmetics. And I think it's about time I gave them a try. Apparently their foundation is perfect.

My experiences with 'perfect' foundation haven't been too sucessful really though — a friend and I went up to Kendal shortly after my Damascian moment, and popped into the branch of Boots:

"Hi, my husband and I would like to buy some foundation for his sister. She's turning 18 and she has a really visible birthmark over her face, so we'd like to get her something that will cover it, and seeing as he has exactly the same skin colouring as her, we thought if you could match him, then it would be perfect for her"

A cunning ruse eh? Turns out that even Boot's maximum coverage isn't enough to hide my blatant masculinity. So sigh

Anyway, this is actually going somewhere ... I've decided to head off to the Trafford Centre on Wednesday evening, and pop into Selfridges where I'm sure I've seen a MAC counter. And I'm going to be very brave and tell them exactly what I'm after, and see if I can't, at last, find a foundation that works for me

I might also have to buy some clothes Deciding to go to Angelic on Saturday has left me with the rather terrible realisation that (again, let me stress this) I have nothing to wear. So I feel a Shop coming on.

Right then, Natasha (or Eamon), get that sofa plumped up... I'm ready for you!

Oooh! You kinky devil you!

Clarification

I probably shouldn't ask, but does anyone know exactly what the result order was for the LGBT Bloggie? The way they're listed on the results page doesn't seem right to me — there's no way I could have come third

Clarification #2: Wonky House

(via flickr.com/people/si08han)

Pretty much everyone who lives in Lancaster is familiar with this house on St George's Quay. It's even the main star in one of those paintings by Chas. I've always thought that obviously, when they were building it, there was some subsidence, but walking past it this afternoon I noticed that the bottom layers of stones are level. It's only because the uprights either side of the windows are different sizes that the house is lop-sided. So, I was wondering, does anyone from Lancaster have any idea why this house is like this?

10.24pm...

...and I've just written a great big thing, but I want it to be on a page of its own, so I have to wait just over an hour and a half to post it.

twiddles thumbs

Yeah, but I'd have to convince Erin — and she doesn't take bullshit from me too well