Thursday, 26th May, 2005

Detritus

I seem to be spending my life on a train at the moment. It feels like almost every day I'm standing around in stations, squeezing as much out of the last cigarette before I board as I can, waiting for slightly delayed trains.

That will, of course, stop tonight, but in the meantime...

I keep seeing loads of stuff by the railway lines that has hoarding potential. Just there now, as we were pulling out of Lancaster, I saw one of those great big wooden spindle things (the things they carry cable on) that would make a great table for my yard. Seriously.

Trouble is, there's no way of going to get it (not without breaking some trespass law or something). It's not just useful things like that either — I keep seeing stacks of logs and old railway sleepers that are crying out to be dragged back to the house and chopped up for firewood.

(No really "crying out" — I can hear them screaming at me as I whistle past ... "Please Siobhan, take us back to yours and chop us up". OK, note to self: pay less attention to the voices in your head)

Some of my friends make slight references to me in terms of Mr Trebus every now and again — I can understand why.

Hair Goes Up, Hair Goes Down

For the past three or four months (thereabouts), I've had a ponytail Not many people have commented on it (just the one, favourable "I approve" from a colleague is all I've had), but I kinda like it.

The other morning though, after waking up under the carrymat, I couldn't find my little hair-tie thing I know I put it somewhere safe in the house I was staying in, but despite searching (albeit random searching, what with the effects of a hangover) under all the chairs, it was nowhere to be seen.

So I spent the day with my hair flopping all over the place.

I was a little concerned at first — I don't like looking like a fop — but actually, it was OK So I decided to wear it down today as well.

I'm not entirely sure where this thought is going, but I was sat at the station flicking my head from side to side trying to get the hair out of my eyes, when it occured to me that I was being rather camp.

And it made me wonder if by having a (stereotypically) feminine hair-style made me act in a (stereotypically) feminine way

Like I said, I don't know where that thought is going — I'd be the last to put forward the idea that because I conform to a particular social stereotype of what "girly" is, I must therefore be "in touch with my feminine side".

It reminds me of the attitude I used to have about putting my wig on — the idea that it was that moment when I changed from being Graham into being Siobhan...

...oh I dunno — my head is a little too mashed to think about stuff like this. Someone want to pick it up for me?

Dear Lancaster City Council

I appreciate that you want to be all trendy and keep up with what's happening over the other side of the Pennines in Leeds, and I accept that it is indeed a problem that people drop cigarette butts all over the place. But if you're going to start slapping fines on smokers for dropping their butts, can I suggest that you use the money to provide some bloody ashtrays in the City Centre?

Random Snippets

(Being snatches of phrases taken out of this morning's The Guardian that when read out of context have a slight potential for playground-level sniggering)

young men who experiment alone or in small groups

*fnnar fnnar*

inveigling their way into every nook and cranny

*ooh missus*

Just a Thought

Sitting here on (another) train, and wondering about the possibility of having internet access whilst on board and the problems involved in that. I know GNER have a cunning system that uses satellites and mobile phones and things, but I was thinking...

...wouldn't it be great if there were, say, two big long metal things that were in constant contact with the train that could carry a connection?

I Bet You're Wondering How I Knew

From (again) The Guardian today:

When I think of Marvin Gaye, I don't think of him in a dress, stockings and suspenders (Peter Akinti, G2 p9)

Was Marvin Gaye one of us?!

Cool

...

I can picture the conversations:

Did you know Marvin Gaye was a transvestite?

Really? Wow! Who told you that?

Oh, I heard it on the...

(I dont need to finish that joke do I?)

Yes yes yes — you're all very funny

Neil hon, BTW — I'vebeen hunting through the code, and I can't find anywhere where I ping anyone except for the special page I use to update this.

Mystery...

Dear The Apple Store Team,

So I just bought a QuickTime 7 Pro Key — not much newsworthy I know, but I must confess, I haven't quite been, well, honest about my usage of the old Pro Keys up until now.

And I figured that I use the thing enough to warrant forking out £20 on it...

But I got an email from them, to confirm, and I must just say this:

Guys, it's very nice of you to email me, but that signature? That's just, well, shit really

Dear Becky

What about people who come here just to read mindless drivel about tranny stuff?

Fair point. Tonight darlings, I'm wearing a wedding dress

So you feel camp. Don't worry. Life's too short.

Oh, trust me — I don't worry at all about it. I just find it interesting that's all The only thing that worries me slightly is that I might be conforming to a stereotype, or rather perpetuating a stereotype about what is masculine and feminine.

If you get what I mean

Tell you what though, speaking of camp ... can I just say that my train journey home was made infinately more enjoyable by being entertained by The Gayest Train Conductor In The World Ever ™

wish I had seen the original he was ranting about!

Here's a link to Peter Akinti's column:

Malcolm X insulted

And here's a link to the article by Peter Tatchell that got him so worked up...

Malcolm X — gay black hero?

(I love The Guardian — not only is it one of the only newspapers where you can find such a diverse set of columnists, and one's that have public fights about things, it's also possibly the most internet-friendly British newspaper there is)

Hmm

Well, I do tend to 'tack' stuff onto the end of entries in a random (and frequent) manner — which could explain what you're seeing — but I'm not a Bloglines member, so I'm not exactly sure what you're on about ... when you see "4 edits" — is that Bloglines telling you I've posted more stuff to the same entry, or is it saying that 4 entries have been updated?

I've noticed sometimes, that my RSS seems to think I've changed everything — and republishes the lot (or at least, the 15 most recent entries — which is what you're seeing), but I don't think that's anything to do with me modifying the code — that's usually just me adding formatting changes.

The actual RSS-writing bit of code is this:

$rss_text = $rss_text."        <item>
                                <title>".$currentdateuk." : 
                                    ".$currenttitle."
                                </title>
                                <link>
                                    ".$link_code."
                                </link>
                                <description>
                                    ".$currententry.
                                    $continue." 
                                    [".$update."]
                                </description>
                            </item>
                            " ;

Where $update is a UNIX timestamp (stored in the database that get's updated every time I make an edit) converted to a stardard date.

...

Although, I've just had a thought — I think that posting a comment updates the timestamp too That might be why there's so many updated RSS items...