Hello 
I'm Siobhan Curran/Kisa Naumova, and this is my weblog. I tend to write about stuff like crossdressing, Macs, code, cats, wine and Second Life, but in general it's just an ongoing conversation about all sorts of stuff. If you'd like to know a little bit more about what this all is, I recommend starting on this page which has a little bit of info on who I am, and what I'm trying to do — or you could dive into my five years worth of archives if you like.
Otherwise, feel free to close this box and explore...
Commonplace
You know, you'd be forgiven if, reading back through what I've been writing about recently, you came to the conclusion that I'd packed in crossdressing entirely 
I've been so pre-occupied recently with code and anti-Christmas rantage that I've not really talked about the Thing What I Usually Write About™
The truth is, that the frequency of my 'Siobhan'-moments never really changes — it's just the importance that I ascribe to them that changes. Back in 2002, the sheer monumentalness of sticking on a skirt was enough to send me into stratospheric degrees of delight, and keep me fuelled with enough self-importance to last me a week.
Now, of course, I kinda do dress all the time — it's just that little bit more, well, ordinary I guess.
...
Breaking away from the topic for a minor rant for a second, one thing that used to annoys the panties off me, was the continuing question that used to get thrown at me every time I appeared online: "Are you going full-time?" It wasn't the assumption itself that irked me — I mean, it's a fair enough question — it was the follow-up to my negative response that always peeved me: "Oh, shame. Such a waste". The strange notion that if one is pretty, then one owes it to the world to be done-up like a girl all the time really gets on my tits — even when I'm ot wearing them.
...
I would hate it though, if this "ordinaryness" slipped into the mundane. There is, I feel, something uniquely special about transgressing the gender wardrobe-divide — something I never want to lose sight of. The feeling of looking in a mirror and seeing some creature of your own creation — rather than the mug you were born/lumped with — is quite glorious, and it constantly amazes me that I can still get that feeling after so many years of doing this.
What's even more surprising is that as time goes on, it takes less and less to achieve that. Before, I used to have to go the full hog — makeup, shaving, wig — to achieve that point of 'otherness'. Now, well, perhaps it's because I'm familiar with Siobhan, but I don't need to go to such lengths. The mental image is fixed enough (and I'm comfortable enough with it as well) to be able to look past a week's worth of stubble and see her.
Not entirely sure what my point is here, BTW. I think it's either something to do with self-delusion, or self-realisation. Either I'm kidding myself every time I look in a mirror and see a girl, or I've reached a point in my head where the concepts of me and Siobhan are synonymous.
As usual though, in about three years time I'll read back through this, and slap myself round the head in a "WTF were you thinking?" kinda way
w00t!
(via flickr.com/people/si08han) 
I hereby declare myself to be the All Conquering, Supreme Winner of the Captain Jack Fangirl Competition (Transvestite Category)
I agree Lana, sounds to me girl that you're doing just fine. I certainly understand finding a point where the dressing and 'otherness' has progressed to where your comfortable — and this doesn't mean the dreaded 'transition' word. I used to be either Steve — all short hair and usually no mistaking me as a guy, to occasionally going the whole hog — spending hours with the shaving and Veet, going the whole way with make-up and dressing, and a wig.
The last 2 years, my worlds have met somewhere in the middle and my day to day is this androgynous/casual look — sometimes a bit more boyish, sometimes a bit more girly, but ultimately, just 'me'. Sure, changing jobs from one where I wore a suit and was told to 'keep my hair short' to moving to the world of academia where I can do pretty much what I want has felt very liberating — if I decide to look more boy-side of androg, I will, but throw in some nice eye shadow, or another day, I'll not bother with my face but wear a nice cut blouse and jeans... no one here cares, they've got used to be just being who I am — mind you, they've not had much choice — I refuse to deny who I am anymore and wear my natural girly 'bob' with pride 
Of course, if I'm jumping on a train down to London for TX, or going for a sparkly night out, I still have the pleasure of going the whole way too glam-ville 
An anonymous coward
Oh, and that was me BTW, fired the submit before entering my email address 
Steph Jones
I hereby declare myself to be the All Conquering, Supreme Winner of the Captain Jack Fangirl Competition (Transvestite Category)
I. Hate. You. So. Much.
I'm probably the last person to have heard about it, but did you know Captain Jack is getting his own show? 'Torchwood' is due to be made next year. Google for more info.
How the hell did you get that? — Have you been hanging around conventions again Siobhan? Tell the truth...
How the hell did you get that?
I'm keeping my mouth shut, apart from to say that I have friends in high places Wales
did you know Captain Jack is getting his own show?
Well *duh* 
Who's Captain Jack?
Err, apart from being Siobhan's latest stalker by the look of things.
You should taka an ASBO out against him Siobhan!
Siobhan, great post actually and you do have an excellent point here. Why should transgendered folk have to stay in one or the other gender? Fluidity may indeed be just where we are — in the middle (as messed up as that can sometimes make our heads and hearts). Your post reminded me of an article on the same topic as you've blogged here. It's at the Canadian Magazine, McLean's, entitled, "Why be just one sex" (see McLean's at http://www.macleans.ca/ and search on the article title, "Why be just one sex")
Oh and congratulations on being the "Supreme Winner of the Captain Jack Fangirl Competition (Transvestite Category)"
Who's Captain Jack?
Captain Jack is my new boyfriend
And it's me who is the stalker
The famous captain aside for one moment, I was actually intending to say that I hadn't actually had one of those "aren't you full time" moments until recently.
When I was in New York (god, I love saying that lol) I was doing 20 questions with one of the organisers of the trip. She'd seen me around over the weekend but we'd not actually had a chance to speak until the last day.
She was very complementary about how I looked but was quite shocked to discover that I wasn't TS and had no intention of ever pursuing SRS. She actually said "oh, I hadn't realised you were only a transvestite".
Suddenly, it was almost as if I was suddenly a second class citizen, as if I was playing at it, and that I wasn't taking it serious.
I was quiet gob smacked and honestly didn't know what to say.
p.s.
when are we having that night out in Leeds Siobhan?
p.p.s
you can bring your new boyfriend. I never did like that Arab chap...
Re: The Captain Jack photo.
I hate you so much right now. Aargh!
p.p.s you can bring your new boyfriend
I wish Karol, I wish.
I dunno, what's a girl supposed to do eh? I IM him, I email him, I get mutual acquaintances to drop him subtle hints, I even wave photographs of attractive men declaring their undying love for me in an attempt to make him jealous.
I will have to, I feel, just resign myself to the chair of the Tom Coates Fan Club (Transvestite division) and leave it at that.
...
Loz, wipe that smile off your face 
"The feeling of looking in a mirror and seeing some creature of your own creation — rather than the mug you were born/lumped with — is quite glorious"
Wow, yeah. I'll stick that with the pile of things you've said that resonate with me. Deffo.
Er, thanks.
Sorry this comment is shit. I should have gone with the more classic "ROFL yeah!"
Sorry Siobhan, you've been done. It's not a picture of Captain Jack at all (Captain Jack can be seen here
He would be #2 on my list. To be honest
Wheeeeee he's pretty tidy
(They both are really )
Hey girls! I definitely agree Siobhan. I have become more happy over all since I went to Uni and don't have my parents staring over my shoulders so much anymore. While I'd defintely say that I look like a guy most of the time, just being fluid makes me happy. If I want to do make up or something on any given day then I can. I don't think I'm quite as centered in that spot as you are, but I'm getting there.
Congrats on getting there by the way. I think eventually most people will get used to my gender bending. Sure, I like to get really femme sometimes, but the femme side of androgy is pretty good for me in that casual every day sort of way.
You jumped back onto the Tranny bit pretty well I'd say.
Well it seems to me the point is that youre comfortable and happy with how you are and look hon and that's great, and you have a lovely natural and pretty look. I dress all the time and also in a casual/androgynous/ordinary way unless Im going somewhere that I need to go all out for. For me it's a comfortable space and it looks like thats yours as well.