Friday, 30th December, 2005

From f-stops To Ear Candling

Wikipedia amazes me sometimes It's not the huge array of information that's on it, nor the tireless dedication of its contributors that stands out for me (although you gotta pat those guys on the back haven't you?) The thing I love to do with Wikipedia is go on little journeys through knowledge.

You know, you start off by looking at one thing, then click your way through some of the related links, and before you know it, you're in a completely different section of knowledge.

For example then: This morning, I wanted to find out what f-stops were exactly. Obviously I have a vague notion of what they refer to — but I've always been curious as to why the numbers are what they are. Long complicated equations sprang from the screen, but eventually I finished up with something resembling a simple explanation embedded in my brain:

if the focal length is 16 times the [aperture] diameter, the f-number is [...] f/16

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/F-stop)

Cool But there are always lots of other lovely links on a Wikipedia page to follow, and sure enough, I was soon lost in a world of Circles of Confusion, Depth of Field and Bokeh

All fascinating stuff, I think you'll agree. But it was all very much in the realms of photography, and I wanted to expand my horizons a little

Thankfully, I found myself lost in the world of film-techniques, having decided to brush-up on what an actual Dolly Zoom was. And lo and behold (thanks to a tenuous reference to a Hitchcock film), I was now in the medical section, reading all about vertigo.

I'd always assumed that vertigo was simply another name for Fear of Heights, but was rather surprised to find out that it means "the sensation of spinning while the body is stationary".

With the eyes shut there will be a sensation that the body is in movement; if the eyes are open the surrounding will appear to move past the field of vision.

Ooh. Now this is something that vaguely rings a bell. I often have little periods of a strange sensation of perspective. If I'm lying face-down in bed with my eyes shut, sometimes it feels like I'm looking down a huge chasm, and I feel something similar to that 'falling' sensation you sometimes get in dreams.

It's hard to explain, but it's kinda like normally, when you close your eyes, you have a sense that your vision ends a few inches away from your face (does that make sense? ) — but when I'm having these little periods of weirdness, it feels like my vision ends somewhere off in the far distance.

Normally, when this happens, I try to get a sense of perspective by opening my eyes and focusing on something. What's weird though, is that everything seems totally out of proportion — objects don't quite sit right in their surroundings and things that should be a couple of metres away either seem miles off in the distance, or right beside me.

Not explaining that at all well am I?

Anyway, this little confusion between vertigo and Acrophobia took me to a whole list of phobias where I once again tried to find some form of recognition for my irrational fear of buttons — to no avail. But it did lead me off in the direction of fake medicine (specifically Snake Oil), and then back again to Ménière's disease

See, call me a hypochondriac if you like, but there are a few things wrong with me that I've never really understood. (Oi, shut it ) I've just mentioned my odd-perspective thing, but there's also my weird crystaline-vision that happens sometimes, and every now and again I'm plagued with tinnitus. Yes, I get it whenever I've had my headphones on too loud, but it also comes all by itself sometimes. I can be sat there, minding my own business, and suddenly I'll lose hearing in one ear, and have it replaced by a constant ringing noise.

So I thought maybe all these things are related. And in the consumeristically-empowered way that all people seem to do these days, launched into a but of a self-diagnosis.

"Aha!", I thought. "I must have Ménière's disease!"

Delighted with myself, I started to read about the treatments, and my mood changed immediately:

Patients are advised to avoid caffeine, alcohol and tobacco

Arse. That's my entire diet.

But actually, reading through the article properly, it soon became apparent that I did not have Ménière's disease, and I should stop trying to self-diagnose and if I really cared that much, I'd go see a doctor about it.

With my skeptical interest sparked earlier by a dip into Snake Oil though, I thought I might go see what Wikipedia had to say about something I'm convinced is a complete pile of bullshit — Ear Candling. Cited as being claimed as a cure for tinnitus, I just had to check it out.

Now, if there's one thing guaranteed to rile me up into a ball of rantage, it's "alternative medicine" — the pathetic combination of herbs and spices with just enough New Age psychobabble to make it sound plausible. Homeopathy is a particular favourite of mine when it comes to shouty-arguments BTW.

(Look hippies, it's been proved to be less effective than a placebo. So will you all just please shut up about it OK?)

I first came across Ear Candling in Ben Goldacre's Bad Science bit in the science section of The Guardian. What seemed like a reasonable suggestion — that the updraft of air caused by burning a hollow candle shoved down your ear could cause a vacuum that dislodged earwax, turned out after various bits of research to be a potentially dangerous procedure thats resulted in (for example) "Thirteen cases of burns, seven cases where the wax from the candle had blocked the ear canal, one case of a punctured ear drum"

(http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/iyh-vsv/med/ear-oreille_e.html)

Equally, the actual vacuum required to suck earwax from inside the ear canal is greater than the vacuum needed to rupture the eardrum. And since the ear canal is a closed tube, ending with the eardrum, there's no possible way that any impurities or 'toxins' could be drawn from the sinuses (or the brain — which some people claim).

Having said that, a lot of people point to the residue left after en ear candling session as proof that it does work.

Obviously that's proof. I mean, deposits of wax on a plate have to have come from inside the ear yes? There's no possible other source for waxy residue anywhere else is there?

just to be sure we burned another candle in the open air. When we sliced it open we found wax and powder identical to that in the first.

(http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_098.html)

Anyway, ear candles are rubbish. They don't work. In fact, they're illegal in Canada.

...

Sorry, I seemed to have gone off on one This was supposed to be a lovely haphazard ramble through a Wikipedia-journey, and turned into an anti-hippy rant. Sorry about that.

Anyway, the reason I started all this was because I wanted to find a really good lens for my camera. Despite it being all lovely and fab, the lens you get as part of the 300D kit isn't really that great. It's quite plasticy and when I first started using it, I was a little disappointed by how 'unsharp' the photographs I took were.

So I reckon I need to go out and invest in a decent lens. Anyone got any recommendations?

They don't only carry useless sugar pills

Sugar pills aren't useless — far from it. The placebo effect is a decidedly weird effect, and although lots of theories abound as to why it happens, I think I'm right in saying that no-one really undestands it.

All I'm saying here, is that hoeopathy is just a placebo. And that every bit of research that's been done into it has shown that the percentages of people experiencing positive results with homeopathy are identical to those from people given a placebo.

I think you REALLY want a 60mm macro.

I think you're right

I want a zoom as well though — to be able to frame things that are in the far-off distance. Know how when you look at a landscape (for example) and you see something far-off and your mind singles that out as the focus of your view? Then when you take a picture with something like a 50mm lens and what you were looking at gets lost within a whole scene?

That's what I want to be able to do. (She said, being uncharacteristicly cryptic )

or get closer

That is exactly the kind of advice I love

btw whats hoeopathy?

Something to do with typophobia

Wish List No. 2,249

Inspired by Ms Everson's recent geek-girl outing in her Flickr photostream, can I just casually drop a hint to people with excess cash that I'd quite like this, if you please

Pauline, don't make me get out the Pathenonia stick this close to New Year's Eve huh?

Honestly hon. In February, I'll come down, spend the whole day, bring several school-girl uniforms and you can spend the whole day doing my hair I'll even see if you can do the Thing I've been trying for years ie. "Me as a girl dressed as a guy".

go on follow that, I can do

Really hon?

OK, a challenge: Me, as a girl, dressed as a guy, but without any attempts to conceal my "giveaway"

Pauline, I'm going to bed

I can do that

I know you can — if anyone can, you can

I am confused by your contradictory information.

Curses. Rumbled Damm you