Friday, 12th May, 2006

Big Poofy Dresses

sissy dress ebay gothiloli

A while back, you may recall, I was churning over the idea of forking out for a frilly maid's dress off Ebay.

Actually, I don't know if I did mention this or not — I certainly wrote a few emails about it, asking for advice. But whether I blogged it, I'm not sure.

See, I dunno what it is, but I have a huge love of ridiculously big and over-elaborate dresses. Somewhere, in the back of my head, is a whole "sissy maid" discussion post that I need to write — something that tries to explore the ins and outs of submissive transvestism. Something that tries to explain why it is that I have this inate desire to wear things that are — quite frankly — rather humiliating. Something that also tries to work out whether or not I feel that it's 'right' to do that.

Maybe.

But back to Ebay...

I was trying to find something outrageous you see. I searched for all sorts of things, but it was only when I searched for "sissy maid" that I came across this dress

There were a few things that bothered me about buying this. First of all, I was concerned that I might look too ridiculous in it. Part of me was thinking that it might end up being one of those outfits that got consigned to the "Things Siobhan Only Wears When No-one Else Is Watching™" part of my wardrobe.

(There are lots of things in that category )

But also, I was a bit concerned about buying something from overseas. Forking out thirty-odd quid for the dress (and a further thirty for postage) seemed like a bit of a risk — not least because I had no way of knowing whether or not the dress would actually be like it looked in the picture.

I can't have been too concerned, obviously, because I did buy it — along with another one (ah, the downfall of being a transvestite with a credit card who's also very drunk), and I picked them up last Monday.

(They were the package that I had to show ID for. I had thought that it was my Daring Fireball T-shirt, but as soon as I saw Chinese writing on the parcel — and how big it was — there was a slight flutter in my trannie-brain)

Initially (because the minute I got back to the house I was ripping off jeans and stuffing myself into frills like an over-excited loon), I was really confused. The white dress is easy enough to figure out (except for some of the accessories — are they chokers or garters?), but the maid's dress looked like it needed some kind of structural engineering degree to get into it.

The underdress is straightforward, but the apron/pinafore thing has taken a good few hours to get just right.

Tell you what though, I'm really impressed with how well they're maid made. Call me prejudiced, but I'd half expected something for thirty quid from China to be a little bit shoddy and not live up to the pictures. Kinda like the fabric version of getting a burger that looks nothing like the picture over the counter.

But the detail in them is amazing...

...and that's just part of the skirt¹

I have one two little tiny gripes: the shoulder straps seem a bit loose and I think that I'll have to pin them in place (although that might just be that I didn't measure myself properly), and some of the accessory things — like the bow tie and the choker — don't quite look as good as they do in the picture ... but yeah, if you're of the same *ahem* persuasion as myself, then I think it's worth the £60.

There's loads of different dresses by the way. A whole Ebay shop full of them

...

Here though, begins the frustration...

I am, obviously, seeing as how I'm not at work today and apart from a few tidying-up things have nothing important to do, wearing one of them right now.

(The white one)

I would love to take a whole bunch of pictures of me in both of them, but it's too much hassle. Shave ... make-up ... clear enough space for a good shot ... then take it all off.

Gah — I do sometimes wish that I could quickly shove something on, click the shutter a few times, and have top-notch photos to plaster all over Flickr.

I seem to have spent the past few months building up a little bit of a collection of Big Dresses™, and it's a bit frustrating not to be able to flounce around and be seen in them. If only there was some kind of 'dressing service' nearby — perhaps a few junctions down the M6. Or if only I intimately knew someone who was a stunning photographer. Or even, if only there was some full-on weekend of trannie-opportunity coming up in the next month or so...

¹ Looks a bit yellowy, doesn't it? That's just my white-balance playing up.

I {Heart} Leaves

random spring

Despite getting home well before the sun went down last night, for some unknown reason I've had the blinds down in my studio. Realising that this was a Stoopid Thing To Do™, I pulled them up and was greeted by this...

Yes!

Yesyesyesyesyesyseyes YES!

For the past month or so, I've been looking out of this window, staring at the little buds and willing them to blossom. All throughout winter, the bare skeletal trees have continuously pressed the Make Siobhan Feel Morbid Button™ located somewhere at the back of my house, their stark nakedness serving as a reminder of loss.

But now, now there's a plushness outside my window. It's like a green version of one of my dresses. Things that I feared had died are pushing their chlorophyll-packed goodness upwards to the sunlight.

I dunno why, but everything feels so bloody good at the moment. I've got an enormous bubble of joy filling up inside me, waiting to burst out into a splash of creativity and motivational wonder in a few weeks.

Life, as they say, is good.

Accepting Full Responsibility

photo

Oh dear. I'm sorry. Sod's Law dictates that the minute I hang my washing up to dry, the weather will break and the heavens will open. If this does indeed happen, I can only apologise.

Coals, Newcastle

quip telly

A small snippet courtesy of The Register, in reference to the increasingly-irritating little robot, voiced by Matt Lucas, intent on patronising us all into getting Digital TV...

...the ads appear on More4

*sound of Siobhan banging her head repeatedly against a brick wall*