Monday, 19th June, 2006

Virtual Chaperon

random booze

Dear all. If you're ever in some kind of online social space with me, and you hear me come out with something along the lines of "Hey, shall I open another bottle?", puhlease tell me "No"¹ and remind me that every time I do that I end up with roadworks inside my head the next morning.

¹ Even if I appear to have pulled a guy who looks like a horse²

² Especially if I appear to have pulled a guy who looks like a horse

BBC issues Belfast storm warning

link

Blimey. Best warn the parents — (The Register)

Bigger, Brighter, Sparklier

sparkle out

This time last year, I think I was considerably more 'worked up' than I am right now. Not only was the full force of a Dalek-based onslaught about to rip across our screens, but I was gearing myself up for an out-of-idiom display of public exhibitionism and a full-on two days of debauchery.

This year I made a very conscious decision not to be quite so 'up for it', and generally treat the weekend as a chance to relax and chill out. While still getting blindingly drunk, natch.

As a result, it hasn't really sunk in that Sparkle is next weekend, and that in four days time I'll be bombing down to Manchester in my sister's car¹, readying myself for three days of outfit-based decision-making.

The Outfit Candidates™ so far, incidentally, are:

1. My "I'm Blogging This" T-shirt and jeans — because it's funny

2. My black floaty-gothy outfit — because actually it's the thing I think I look best in

3. The Red Dress™ — just to be as ludicrous and as much as an obstacle on Canal Street as I can (providing I get someone to fix the zip on it)

4. One of the maids' dresses — for five minutes, at some point on Saturday, before I chicken out and change

I guess one of the reasons it hasn't sunk in yet, is that it seems like there's so much going on between now and then — and the idea of "next weekend" seems as abstract as the idea of Sparkle itself.

I'm busy today doing work (honest), tomorrow I'm off to a barbeque in Leeds (followed, no doubt, by a hangover and a strugle into work the next day), not sure really what's happening on Thursday, and then Friday will be the usual OMGOMG! Put. All. Clothes. Into. A. Bag! affair.

I also think I might have promised the one video projector that I might be able to get my hands on, to ten different people — so that shuld be fun

¹ The lack of interest and speculation about my "mystery guest" was annoying me. It's my sister. The pair of us are staying in The Place. She's never actually seen Siobhan before, so that'll be interesting. Plus we'll be able to finally answer the two Big Questions™ — (1) Does Siobhan actually look as much like her sister as she thinks? (2) Which of us can drink the most? The smart money is on (1) Nope, and (2) Siobhan, natch.

Can I ask the obvious question?

Like a donkey hon

By "pulling" do you mean a hand job?

No Had I meant that, I would have said "Even if I appear to be pulling a pint on the piss pump of a guy who looks like a horse"

I meant 'pull' as in "Being chatted up by" — a lot more innocent I feel

Neil, I want to hear all about the three-way...