Hello 
I'm Siobhan Curran/Kisa Naumova, and this is my weblog. I tend to write about stuff like crossdressing, Macs, code, cats, wine and Second Life, but in general it's just an ongoing conversation about all sorts of stuff. If you'd like to know a little bit more about what this all is, I recommend starting on this page which has a little bit of info on who I am, and what I'm trying to do — or you could dive into my five years worth of archives if you like.
Otherwise, feel free to close this box and explore...
'S Why I'm Easy
Ack, what a beautiful morning 
I was up, bright and early, pottering around my warehouse loft conversion, making a cup of coffee with one of the cats brushing around my leg, in my dressing gown. I know they're lactose intolerant, but I figured I'd give her a treat in the form of some milk. But...
...I go to the fridge, and there's no milk 
Well, actually there was a tiny bit left in a bottle, but it wasnt enough for the pair of us. Biscuit looked up at me expectantly, but all I could do was shrug and waggle the empty bottle at her — not that I expected her to understand, mind you. I just thought I'd try and explain why she wasn't getting any dairy-yumminess in the immediate future.
No matter though, I left the apartment and dandered towards the corner shop, safe in the knowledge that even though I didn't have any cash on me, I could get some out from the hole in the wall.
...
This is all bollocks, natch. This wasn't my morning — it was the morning of that guy from the Halifax Cashcard ad from the mid-eighties.
I used to watch that ad, thinking that one day my life would be like that. I even — oh the evil power of the advertising industry — got myself a Halifax account specifically because I thought it would make me more like him
My actual mornings go a bit more like this:
Wake up. Fend off Tish who wants feeding and is clawing at my chest. Down remnants of a pint of water to stave off the impending headache (booze-related). Grab roll-ups that I made last night and lighter, and trudge downstairs. Turn on kitchen light, because I need to reset the timers on the lights what with darkness lingering for far too long these autumn days.
Boil kettle. Tip catfood into bowls. Spend a couple of minutes feeling guilty that the kittens are getting crappy dry stuff, rather than yummy Kitty Smack. Make coffee. Light fag. Go upstairs. Have poo.
Then, despite reading countless things about how you shouldn't check your email first thing in the morning, check email. Lament at lack of engaging banter. Grab laptop and install myself on the sofa. Dive into RSS feeds.
...
Bit shit realy
I'm feeling like I'm in a bit of a limbo at the moment. There's a certain sense of "Must just get through the next couple of weeks, then everything will be groovy again" going on right now. All around me there are the signs and detritus of things that I'm putting off — letters building up, dust and crap on the floor, clothes in Wrong Places™, dishes that need to be done. And it's doing my head in.
I have a very specific mental image of what I want my life to be like, and it frustrates me that it's more of a 'student' mess right now, rather than the sophisticated guy in the Halifax advert.
I want (for example) my mornings to be worthy of a Tropicana ad — to flow naturally, things just being in the right palce, unfettered by the feeling that I need to check my 'self-worth' through online means.
I want, I guess, to be on top of all of this — rather than at the mercy of it.
And as well as there being certain 'time-sucking' factors making me feel this way right now (it was kinda the same this time last year, when I was doing all the inductions at work like I am now), I also think it's the space around me that has an influence.
...
On Wednesday, finding myself in the rather unusual position of Not Having Anything Actually Pressing To Do™, I settled down on the sofa to read through some text I'd printed out in an attempt to make a start on my PhD proposal. I find this sofa quite comfy (other disagree) and I do actually fall asleep on it every once in a while.
But it's not the ideal reading space. In fact, the ideal reading space doesn't exist in my house. There's nowhere here to curl up with a book.
Also, because the only telly in the house is the EyeTV attached to my G5, I don't really 'chill out' anywhere — nowhere you'd expect me to, anyway. I don't lounge around downstairs watching the box to relax — I curl up at my Mac instead.
In fact, thinking about it, my Mac is where I spend all of my time these days — and I think that's a huge part of the problem. I work at it, I watch telly at it, I play at it, I kill time at it watching logs and crap.
And of course, all those activities merge into one. They're all there, vying for my attention — the minute I flip out of full-screen mode on the TV, there's RSS feeds waiting to be read, or emails waiting to be answered.
I spend my life at my desk. There's a kind of Rhombus Of Movement™ that I exist in in this house — from the bed, to the Mac, to the kettle, to the toilet. There are so many spaces that I just don't seem to use — the far side of the bed; the chairs downstairs; even the dining table at the moment is just acting as a repository for crap.
*Gah*
...
Sorry for the ramble I think I'm in a bit of a rut at the moment — and I think that maybe moving some of the stuff in this house around a bit might begin to get me out of it.
Wednesday was a Second Life Day. Yesterday was a Code Day. Today is going to be a Sorting Day.
I may even wash the car...
NO!! THE CAR NO, PLEASE DEUS THE CAR NO!!
...
Just serious 
These ad people are really evil, aren't they? They lie to you telling that you can ride horses and look cool in a cowboy hat if you smoke Malboros, or that if you drink coca cola then, you're going to be happy or some such.
Lies!
Anyway.
Have fun cleaning stuff, I hope you find the resources to become that sophisticated person worthy of being a character in a ad for uh.. something nice.
I will preview this post before posting now.
They lie to you telling that you [...] look cool [..] if you smoke Malboros
But I do dammit! 
Light fag. Go upstairs. Have poo.
... In fact, thinking about it, my Mac is where I spend all of my time these days... I kill time at it watching logs and crap.
... even the dining table at the moment is just acting as a repository for crap.
Er... you do actually have a toilet, right?
!
"making a cup of coffee with one of the cats brushing around my leg, in my dressing gown"
This gives me the disturbing mental image of one of your cats wearing your dressing gown — a bit like those awful pictures of dogs wearing waistcoats and playing poker (shudder).
We all have "off days". It's finding the "on days" (is there such a phrase?) that's the tricky bit.
Actually, despite all that I am having quite a good day today I think it helps that the sun is shining...
sl2flickr (beta)
Just spent a couple of hours getting my head around Flickr's Authentication API, and wrapping that thing I was talking about yesterday in as much Web 2.0 stylee as I could possibly think of.
sl2flickr: Send postcards from Second Life to Flickr
I think it works, but I'm being incredibly tentative about it
You need (natch) a Second Life account and a Flickr account for it to work.
Please let me know if it (a) works or not, and (b) if there's anything I can do to make it even more Web 2.0
Re: "getting on top of things"
1) May I join the queue?
2) I find that if I spend one day in the hell that is getting on top of housework, and really cleaning, ie as far as mopping the kitchen floor, then for at least a week, I can be "on top of things" and give myself time to relax. That is if Dr P doesn't decide to return from a conference with a big load of laundry and leave washing up all over the place, as he all too frequently does these days.
Move Video From EyeTV to iTunes
An Applescript to import all your EyeTV exports into iTunes, and Front Row — [macosxhints.com]
Rogue Amoeba — Freebies
Lots of Mac-based goodies — [via macosxhints.com]
...got myself a Halifax account specifically because...
Y'know, I sometimes think you're too honest for your own good. Have you any idea just how sad that sounds? Actually, the only life, other than my own, that I ever really wanted was that of Riley!
omg, I just completely wet myself over this preview feature. and I didn't even have to pay you.
Ah, did I not mention? The invoice is in the post...
I Love Telly
Self Improvement
I am going to get the lifestyle I want — even if it means spending cash
Ah.. I love QI. Great stuff...
Thats nice with Vodka
Remember, for every cool bloke in a Halifax advert there's that bloody Howard chap.
Back in 2003 I was working on the Halifax campaign (the online part of it) at the agency who plucked Howard from obscurity. I remember overhearing a very funny phone conversation between the account director and an irate Howard.
Apparently the whole crew had been to Sydney and New South Wales for a month to shoot one of the Howard ads (the one where he rides the swan), but as usual Howard had shot his bits in front of a green screen in a cold studio in Shoreditch and was throwing a hissy fit because he never got to go away on location.
Since then, I've loathed him less
You need a boyfriend.
Jools
Oops, sorry, my previous remark looks ever so rude. Not intended that way. I think I was tired and emotional. And reflecting on my own unsuccessful seduction techniques.
Jools
I know what you mean. I find I live at my desk too.
And nobody's life ever gets anywhere near the life of people in commercials...
Remember, for every cool bloke in a Halifax advert there's that bloody Howard chap.