Hello 
I'm Siobhan Curran/Kisa Naumova, and this is my weblog. I tend to write about stuff like crossdressing, Macs, code, cats, wine and Second Life, but in general it's just an ongoing conversation about all sorts of stuff. If you'd like to know a little bit more about what this all is, I recommend starting on this page which has a little bit of info on who I am, and what I'm trying to do — or you could dive into my five years worth of archives if you like.
Otherwise, feel free to close this box and explore...
Assimilation
There must be someone, somewhere in Leeds that understands the letter that just came through my door. It's full of numbers, words like "incremental progression" and "harmonised". Personally, I'm completely baffled, but it looks like Happy News™ so I'm going to take it as such.
It does beg the question in my head though, why couldn't they send a letter saying "Hi Siobhan, you're going to get paid this much a month now".
Regardless of all that though, today is not a particularly fun financial day. And to complicate matters, I can't bloody get through to my phone banking service.
"If you're not calling to join the hoardes of bank-charge complainers, press 2"
2
"Beeeeeep. Beeeeeep. Beeeeeep. Beeeeeep. Beeeeeep. Beeeeeep. "
Mentor++
About eighteen months ago or so, a friend and I used to hang around various newbie areas in Second Life, intent on being 'helpful' and 'instructive'. I remember intensly the warm welcome I'd had from Torley 
and Tesla the minute I'd stepped off Orientation Island, and I enjoyed giving a small fraction of that welcome back to people who were stumbling into the main grid for the first time.
It was also the same time that I was really starting to feel the SL ennui set in — the Not Getting It-ness™, the boredom of too many shooping sprees, and not enough purpose.
I think that at that time, I was searching for a reason to be in Second Life. This was well before I started poking at code, and developing my building skills. It was long before I really connected with a massive group of people who are all out there doing stunningly interesting things — I remember walking solitary around roads, scuttling away from large groups of green dots, bemoaning the emptiness and wondering why my IM window didnt show the same blazing activity that others talked about.
Of course, actually, the emptiness is something to cherish. IMs and teleports render the notion of proximity a little bit null on the grid, and the apparent desolation of large areas of server space has the unappreciated upside of giving you a decent fps.
But hey. I ramble.
I think there was a part of me that felt like I needed to do something — something specific and defined. Today, of course, I relish the haphazard way in which I engage with the grid — I love that one day I'll be making web-based things, another I'll be chucking prims around, another I'll be deep in LSL, and another I'll be trying on all sorts of outfits, and wasting forty percent of my time photoshopping the outcomes to whack onto Flickr.
So, eighteen months ago, I applied to be a Mentor
For the first week or so afterwards, I check my email religiously, eagerly anticipating a response. As the time passed though, I forgot more and more about it, occasionally bringing it up in discussions, but mostly consigning it to the Back Of My Head™
Months passed. Hell, a year passed, and I thought no more of it. I was too busy making prim-spewing scripts, Flickr-mashing displays, large paid-for islands, and generally Being Very Pretty™ to worry about the potential rejection-issues from not hearing back about a little application that I'd submitted early in 2006.
Until two weeks ago.
Congratulations! You have been accepted into the Second Life Volunteer program as a Second Life Mentor.
"Shit! What?! Yikes! Erm. Ooooh!"
I'm a little nervous now, to be perfectly honest. For one reason or another, I had to get in touch with a couple of people to get an invite to the group (I was already in 25) so I TPed over to Help Island Public and was rather stunned by how many people were there, all asking questions.
Despite avatar faces being somewhat generic — devoid (when not in a gesture) of any attributable emotion — I couldn't help but sense a feeling that the other Mentors' faces were screaming out "HELP US!"
...
Apparently though, I have nothing to fear.
I have, regardless of that, spent a large portion of today trying to find an outfit in my inventory which you can't see my panties through.
Congratulations!!!! I must admit that i just don't have the patience to be a mentor, though i have been known to take pity on a newbie and help them out (despite what I said yesterday about keeping my land locked!). I had no experience of mentors or helpers when I first arrived in SL, starting, as I did, on the weekend of SL's 3rd birthday. The Help Island was totally devoid of helpers and mentors and, if I hadn't had Wolf waiting on the grid for me, I may well have given up withing the first week. I truly admire all the people who give their time to mentoring — if each one only helps a couple of people to see the wonder that SL can be, then it is time well spent, and the effect will spread throughout the grid. Keep us posted on how it goes — and on what you decide to wear 
You see, I blogged about this a few weeks ago. I finally entered SL and really didn't get it. I appealed on my (increasingly unread) blog but got no positive response — a number of negatives (others who didn't "get it" either) but nothing positive.
Was I expecting too much hand-holding? Dunno. But the initial SL experience has left me cold.
Possibly
I'm also at the stage where I've done loads of shopping and plenty of new looks.
I like the look I have now and don't really want to change it (she probably is my hidden fantasy — freud make of that what you will).
I thought I would try my hand at building and having bought a plot of land I have recently finished building a house.
Now I dont really know what I want to do, and even though I'm on holiday and got "plenty of time" haven't been on for over two weeks!
I understand what you mean about needing a purpose, but not as a mentor. I dont have the skill and patience.
Maybe something more practical ... does anyone want a brickie! 
I appealed on my [...] blog but got no positive response
Selina, can I just mention that I've been trying to think of a good response to your post for the past week or so, but so far can't. Otherwise I would have posted straight away.
Congrats, Kisa! As Phoenix, i don't have the patient to be a mentor.
Of course i try to help newbies always, but sometimes it can be a bit disappointing when some of them just ask you about money or where to find a cock or sex.
Anyway i think helping one person and learn from each other worth all this.
When i arrived to SL, last october, i felt so lost. No mentors on Orientation Island, just newbies like me, and i didn't spent too much time there, i TPed directly to Iris Temple, so imagine... LOST. The next day i went to Help Island, and there was different, i felt really welcomed (no traps then).
Selina, being new in SL is like to born, all is new, and you don't know how to act. But some days later, when you begin to understand how it works and understand the possibilities, then you will see the positive side.
Raul!!! {rushes over for a hug} Fancy seing you here!!! I recognized your 'voice' before even scrolling down to the name LOL Sounds like you had a similar arrival in SL to mine.
Anyone else who is feeling lost and directionless — keep at it for a while. I still have major periods of not knowing why i am there (been going through one quite recently) but I always know that I shouldn't leave, there is more for me to do yet. Friends, of course, make a huge difference {looks up at Raul, Kisa and Wolf and smiles} but it takes time to find the people who really make you smile. That said, I am always up for a chat if anyone wants to IM me
Wow! You pretty much just summed up what SL has, does and hopefully will be to me. I actually joined up a little over 18 months ago and was wonderfully welcomed to the world by Tateru and friends. I then went on and did the same hanging around at welcome areas for a while helping newbies and paying it forward. I am now at the "big world, small lonely wolf" phase, but starting to drift more and more towards just having fun with building and scripting.
I, on the other hand, got fed up waiting to be accepted as a mentor and took my name off the list a year ago when I heard someone else got accepted in two weeks!
I also don't have any outfits that you could see my underwear through if I actually ever wear any, though it must be said that my first impression of Tateru was a short frilly dress and no underwear, but I put that down to encouraging newbies to practice their camera skills ;o)