Hello smile

I'm Siobhan Curran/Kisa Naumova, and this is my weblog. I tend to write about stuff like crossdressing, Macs, code, cats, wine and Second Life, but in general it's just an ongoing conversation about all sorts of stuff. If you'd like to know a little bit more about what this all is, I recommend starting on this page which has a little bit of info on who I am, and what I'm trying to do — or you could dive into my five years worth of archives if you like.

Otherwise, feel free to close this box and explore...

Chapter Two: Leeds

(Well, Morley actually, but let's not split hairs)

I just wanted to quickly write something about Where I'm At™ at the moment. Nothing major and substantial, just a little bit of a 'line-drawer' between life in Lancaster, and life in Leeds.

Like I said the other day, it was odd going back over to Lancaster at the weekend. It really didn't feel like the space I'd spent the last twelve years in. The house was devoid of anything familiar — just random clumps of Things To Throw Out™ dotted here are there, things that reminded me that I no longer lived there.

To be perfectly honest, I've been feeling a bit like a New Person™ ever since Thau arrived at the airport two weeks ago. I can't really explain it — it's like what she said about it feeling not like she was somewhere new, but like she'd been away and come back.

I just feel like this is the most natural thing in the world, and that before I was just waiting until the day that I met her.

But I'll gush about things in a minute. First of all, I'm very much aware that there is a host of things to sort out. Frankly, I'm currently paying for two houses — both the rent/mortgage, and all the silly things like utilities and internets.

Which is ridiculous really, and is gnawing at my brain and shouting "SORT IT OUT AT WORK TOMORROW, CURRAN" in incresingly urgent tones.

Workwise, things are great. I spent last week rather stressed about certain things, but with that out of the way, I've taken a few days ~~off~~ to work from home and get the rest of the things that I normally do as close to finishing as I can.

Aside from that though, I am so loving not having to drive for five hours a day. Natch. Just the very simple thing of being able to pop in for a pint on the way home from work, or decide that I'd be far more productive if I got the bus home at two in the afternoon ... seriously, moving here is the best thing I ever did.

(Work wise, at least)

The flat is cool, albeit a little bit of a tip today (which reminds me, my sister is coming to visit tomorrow, so we need to tidy up). I've set myself up a bit of a studio in the spare room (which seems a little selfish, considering that there are two of us living here, both needing desk-space), and as soon as I drag my G5 home, it'll feel just like my studio in Lancaster (I think).

...

Romantically, of course, I'm in complete heaven. I never dreamed I'd meet someone so beautiful, so wonderful, so clever, so amazing frankly — let alone someone I completely click with in almost every aspect of my life. When we were up in Edinburgh, and Thau had nipped to the toilet, my sister said to me "You know, it's like you two have known each other for ever already" (in a very thick Belfast accent).

And it feels like she was right. I find it hard to imagine what life was like before I met her. I find it even harder to picture what was going through my head all those months ago when I first spotted her on Flickr and thought "You know, that's someone I'd like to get to know".

I had no idea I'd be sitting here (actually, literally 'here') talking to her about how we might make it work if she stayed with me for (a) longer than the three weeks we'd planned, and (b) ever.

Which is what I want. Honestly. I mean, I know there are fifty million obstacles in our way — like a very big wet patch of the Earth that goes by the name of "The Atlantic" — but I think we can work them out.

Because (and I know we've only been together for two weeks 'technically', but let's drop the suspension of disbelief for a moment and remember that I'm a thirty-five year old man who knows how he feels about things, and honestly, I'm trying really hard not to put her under any pressure — because that would be totally unfair of me, considering I'm asking her to do something rather large and life-changing) when two people want something to work enough, and they love each other enough to know that they want it — more than anything else in the world — then I don't think that there's much they can't do.

Even if they give each other the lurgy in the process.

Idle Grooming Thoughts

Random daydreams in the middle of the night

Constructive Vandalism

I popped over to Munck earlier, to have a rethink about the stuff that I've built there. I really feel the need to use that space in a more productive way than I am doing.

But when I got there, someone had put prims in all my doorways.

Which struck me as an odd thing to do

...prims in all my doorways.

I presume you can get in by zapping them with PrimBeGone or some such? So if people can just decide to build things on top of your stuff, could they tear your stuff down as well, or paint it all black? :sad:

alli_cat

when two people want something to work enough, and they love each other enough to know that they want it — more than anything else in the world — then I don't think that there's much they can't do

Agreed. Wholeheartedly.